PJ 47
CHAPTER 31
DECEMBER 4, 1991
UNDERSTANDING AND COPING WITH "RESTLESS" FEELINGS
Greetings precious Druthea. I AM Sananda, Esu, Immanuel. I AM the one many know as "Jesus Christ". I come in service to Holy God of Light and to you my brethren upon Earth Shan. Sananda is my inherited, earned label given of Our Father, God. It simply means "One With God".

My scribe is in process of tremendous change and has been for some years now. This I share because many of you will relate to the feelings which are or have been produced by these "changes", or what I prefer to call "challenges" to facilitate spiritual growth. None of you will escape these "growing" pains which I will speak of.

When this one, Druthea, first became involved with the works of Hatonn and Dharma, contained within The Phoenix Journals, she was quite skeptical. It took many months of self-searching and testing for her to find comfort with the fact that, yes in­-deedy, she was in contact with beings not of this planet, called Earth.

When it finally sunk in that what Commander Hatonn and the other Hosts said is, in fact true and that this civilization is in se­rious trouble, absolute terror set in for her. Then came the de­nial. "Oh no, DOOM AND GLOOM NEGATIVE HATONN", and "NO BEING OF THE LIGHT WOULD SPEAK THIS WAY" was constantly put in her mind deliberately by ones whom she thought very near and dear to her. She began to doubt her sanity. She wanted her life the way it was BEFORE she knew the Truth ... and there was NO turning back as hard as she tried.

Does this sound like any of you out there reading this? I thought so. It doesn't end yet, my chelas. She then went through a very long period or deep confusion and became very angry. She cried frequently. She spent much time alone in self-pity. She was harsh to her loved ones. She was even embarrassed at her own behavior at times, but she frankly felt most helpless. She asked for everyone's opinion and interpretation of the transmis­sions presented by Commander Hatonn and even myself, Sananda. All the while God waited patiently for her to listen, mostly she was too terror-stricken and confused to quiet herself enough to do so.

Many ones, including myself, worked with her and kept a con­stant outpouring of loving light upon her. Many of you ones in the early circle did the same. This child is loved very greatly by many ones and I think she recognizes now the great degree of love given her to assist her during these "difficult" testing times she has gone through. But remember this, chelas, our outpour­ing is only useful to the degree that the receiver allows it! Oth­erwise it simply returns to sender.

So what did she finally do to recognize and change the fact that she allowed the adversary (Satan) to rule her life for a time? WHEN SHE BECAME SO EXHAUSTED AND DEPRESSED AND HOPELESS, SHE TURNED HER FACE TO GOD AND SAID, "Father, please HELP ME!" The call from the heart place compels the answer and she was at that moment ready to listen for her instructions and act upon them. From that moment on she has commanded shielding of love, protection and guid­ance that she may serve God honorably in His reflection. Does she falter and have her "bad" moments? Certainly. The differ­ence is now she knows she has a choice in the matter (as she always did and did not know) and so she then can make the nec­essary "attitude" adjustments.

I will share with you that this child finds it most difficult to "sit still" to listen. She has much what you call "nervous" energy. Which has little to do with nerves as such. Anyway, for those of you who wonder what and how to listen to God, read on. This one "walks" every day for "exercise". This is the "time" early on that we, of the Hosts, found it easiest to reach her be­cause she actually puts herself in a self-hypnotic trance while walking. She also cleared her space, commanded protection and asked for guidance to sustain in God's service. It is really that simple, chelas! It begins with Desire, Devotion and Self-Disci­pline. You must DO your part as Co-creator for God already has DONE His.

I will share with you that NO ONE was more surprised at Druthea becoming a "receiver" than was she! You must realize, precious chelas, that receiving from the Lighted Source and Command is something ALL have ability to do and many do it unwittingly. God is WITHIN you and so the still quiet voice of His love and guidance must be accessed within you. It is not mystical, it is only a mystery until YOU KNOW how to do it. Eventually, and hopefully sooner than later, you will all learn to commune with God within you constantly, regardless of the task you may be performing.

Druthea says she thinks there is one down side to knowing you are responsible for all you do and create and how you respond to situations. That is that when you "goof" or make an "error" against God's LOVE principle, YOU KNOW IT and there is no hiding and saying you did not know!

True, precious, you cannot hide behind ignorance when you do know, but I would not say it to be a "down side" for would you not rather KNOW your errors immediately that you bear the consequences quickly? In this way you are less apt to repeat the error. It is only when in ignorance ones defy the law of balance and love and then wonder why they are having "bad" luck or are so very unhappy. Remember even in ignorance of your errors will you still reap the consequences. So would you not rather stand responsible and KNOW the error be so and KNOW YOU must change your behavior or thinking accordingly? I trust you see the wisdom in knowing!

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU'VE CONQUERED THE FEAR

So what became of Druthea after she accomplished communion with God and We of His Hosts? Bliss and Contentment? Not hardly, not even at all. Once the novelty wore off, she began to realize and to remember that SHE herself had a purpose, a commitment to serve God here on Earth. We simply reminded her of this commitment. Yes, she was no longer "afraid" to die. She did begin to have a sense of inner peace, although she, I must admit, was not too thrilled to find out about the nature of her responsibilities in service to God. And that is the key word, RESPONSIBILITY. It was like one minute she was just respon­sible for herself and NOW the whole world was included. That is just about how she felt.

It seems to be and it certainly is a MASSIVE job to awaken a sleepy humankind, uncover the lies of the adversary, boot him out, and clean up the mess and then hopefully graduate beyond these physical dimensions.We continually remind her as well as all of you that you each CHOSE to be here and you will CHOOSE to serve GOD OF LIGHT or continue in the service of the adversary to God.

ALL ones of you reading this material have made a commitment to serve in some capacity. We are ringing the alarm clock. If some of you are angry, that is good for at least we know you're alive and cooking and perhaps we can help you out of the boil­ing pot before you are too cooked to escape!

I suggest that you NOT be angry at God or the truth bringers for waking you up, for you will only find yourself in misery and powerlessness. You must be willing to DO your part to change the evil circumstances and bring forth TRUTH and to do it you must sincerely DESIRE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU MUST KNOW AND DO TO SUSTAIN IN GOD'S SERVICE. It is not necessarily easy. It most probably will involve hard work, physically and emotionally. It may not be convenient. But so what! Do you not enjoy a good worthy challenge? A strong spiritual BOND? Inner fulfillment of a commitment accomplished to the best of your ability? Do you realize for most of you this is a rare and precious time opportunity to serve? The changing of a cycle of a planet. You proclaimed to God YOU would serve. Will you honor your commitment?

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

So now that the fear is gone, how do you feel? Druthea found herself being tested in ways which produced forth her "insecurities", for example in her case, money. She does not like this being discussed, and many of you are in the same rut as she. The funny thing is, Druthea has always had more than she needs and yet you would think the child is close to poverty by the way she magnifies "expenses" in her own mind. She has an over developed sense of frugality on one hand and then can be quite frivolous on the other. Many of you share her problem in similar ways.

So what is the root of this insecurity? FEAR rears its ugly head again. It's sort of silly when she looks at it. For she no longer fears death, yet she is terrified of losing her "shopping" budget! This fear/insecurity about money is, in her case, related to deep attachment to physical world illusion as she has been comfort­able within it. Chelas, the people of this world, save a few, are in the process of losing all of their dollars/wealth. As Hatonn says, "The world is being foreclosed upon!" So she, as well as all of you, will need to make some adjustments in perceptions of comfort and "needs". So be it.

Comfort in the days ahead, my friends, will be a warm bed, home, food and clothing. And you will be HAPPY to have them. There is no longer room in your minds for excess physi­cal frivolity. If that frightens you, I am sorry for you. For your 30 pairs of designer shoes, and your valuable gold jewelry and gems, and your expensive houses, cars and countless other "luxuries" will not serve your basic survival needs in the times ahead. Nor will ANYTHING of the physical leave with you when you depart this plane in the so-called "death" experience. You will need release attachment to these things "you think" make you happy, for if you are honest with yourself, you will find that they DO NOT.

Does this mean throw out your furs and abandon your home? Of course not, precious ones! God IS Abundance, only His abundance is NOT LIMITED TO PHYSICAL abundance! En­joy your "things" which bring you comfort. Although if you have an expensive home with a big mortgage in the city, I would suggest you reconsider that decision. Perhaps it would be wise for you to sell your home (if you can find a buyer) and move to the country, store some food and water and prepare for leaner times ahead. If that sounds negative and doom and gloom per­haps it is your perception which is in error! Perhaps you simply do not understand HOW SERIOUS YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES REALLY ARE!!

IS MY TESTING OVER YET?

This Druthea asks. No. And it does not become OVER until your return to the ONE Creator God is completed! Remember I, Sananda, am also being tested for this grand finale confrontation with our adversary here on Earth Shan. So don't feel alone, chelas.

Now at the current time, Druthea is dealing with the challenge of feeling restless and "let's get on with it, I'm bored with the adversaries games." This feeling occurs when you finally begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is not a freight train. It is God returning. And now that she feels it is happening within her, she's becoming impatient for completion of the job. And she asks why doesn't everyone just wake up and get on with it? Well, it doesn't work that way, chela. Just as you have struggled and continue to struggle in your own way with awak­ening and serving, ALL will need to go through their testing and process of awakening. This is part of your growing experience upon this beloved orb. My suggestion? Be as patient with those you are reaching as God and His Hosts have been patient with you! (Big Gulp from Druthea).

Perhaps some of you can relate to her feeling if I describe it as like a horse you are riding. Often when the horse you are riding is leaving the: stable, it trods along. When you turn back to­wards "home", the horse can barely contain itself and wishes to run all the way home! Druthea knows she's on the road "home" and wants to run and miss all the scenery. Not only will she miss the scenery, she undoubtedly will become careless and trip in a gopher hole, and make her journey much slower and some­what painful too! Ponder it carefully, precious ones! There are NO shortcuts to God. ENJOY the journey. Welcome the "challenges" and testing which YOU and God designs for you to bring you home in honor.

SO HOW CAN YOU BECOME INSPIRED OR RE-INSPIRED?

Impatience comes with not wanting to go through the "process" of an experience or "repealing" something which seems so obvi­ous to you. For the first reason, I say, trust the process of GOD working within you. Your impatience will subside when that is truly accomplished. For the second, that of repetition of a cir­cumstance, such as how the adversary lies and fools you, or when you are explaining the same to others, I say that you have reached the top of one level of awareness and are anxious for inspiration to move into the next. You may recognize reaching, this level by feeling "stuck" and also a feeling of "boredom" and/or "restlessness" may occur. Again, Desire, Devotion, Discipline. Trust the process of God working within you. Be patient for the unfolding WILL occur in the right time for you. And lastly,GOD ALWAYS DOES HIS PART! KNOW AND DO YOURS!

I will close this segment. Thank you, Druthea, for your service and for allowing this sharing of your personal experience. There are many who will benefit from this sharing and you are truly blessed for having it to share! I Thank you, my precious brethren, for taking the time to read this. May it inspire you in your growth process. Walk gently with one another and Bless our Mother Earth Shan for allowing herself to be your stage of learning.

Thank you, Father, for allowing mine sharing through this scribe. Please hold her gently in your loving light of guidance and protection that she find the peace within which only exists in your KNOWING MIND. So be it and Selah. I AM Sananda. I come in service to Our One HOLY Creator God/Aton. Salu.




PJ 47
CHAPTER 32
JANUARY 3, 1991
THE PROCESS OF LIFE
Greetings my precious little dove, Druthea.I AM Sananda, Esu, Jesus, Immanuel. I come in service to God/Aton of light and to you my precious brethren on earth Shan.

Thank you for attending me this day, Druthea. Allow me to as­sist you, precious, for it is my honor to do so. You never stand alone in "the wilderness of your mind" as you stated it. You must be willing to ask for and then receive your "help" and guidance in times of despair and depression, chela. A lesson most all of you of mine can improve upon.

It is quite true that there are no "self-made" men and women. For all have received guidance and an occasional boost from the unseen and unacknowledged ones both in physical and etheric dimensions. It is a "team" cooperative effort that works con­stantly to bring out the best in each one of you, whether YOU recognize the help or not.

Your success in gaining understanding and broader awareness comes as much from allowing and graciously accepting God's guidance and that of His chosen helpers, as it does from your physical actions, whether your actions serve God or the adver­sary, within your journey on earth Shan.

The process of your lives is designed to bring you ever closer to KNOWING the I AM presence within you that you become God in Action, and ultimately co-creator of universes within Creation.

THE ADVANTAGES OF EXPERIENCING LIMITATION

Advantages you ask! Most certainly. For although you design your own limitation, you also are given the tools for reaching beyond it. First, by recognizing and taking responsibility for it. Asking God for assistance to conquer it. And then making the decision followed by the necessary action to overcome and grow beyond your self-imposed limitations. Simple? Rarely. Com­fortable? Hardly! Worth the effort? ALWAYS!

How does one recognize a limitation? Easy. I will point out some feelings/expressions which all of you will recognize in your experience within your own process of life: How about Resisting change, Impatience, Stubborn inflexibility, Fear, Re­sentment, Superiority, Inferiority, Insecurity, Bigotry, Greed, Physical lust, Guilt, False pride, Wrath, Vanity, Laziness, Envy and Jealousy? Some of you may recognize these expressions since we wrote in detail about many of these as "Deadly Sins" and "Recognizing the Anti-Christ Within You"in the "Phoenix Operator-Owner Manual".

All of the above limitations as well as many not named are ex­pressions of the adversary and denial of your own God power within. Expressions of Resisting change, Impatience, and Fear have to do with Not TRUSTING or understanding the process of your life and, therefore, feeling helpless and powerless. These expressions are simply the symptoms of your unbalance within. By recognizing the symptom of Resistance, for example, you can then ask God within to show you its CAUSE, which usually involves Fear. Is it bad to feel afraid? No. It is simply a symptom of your ignorance about your own ability to move through the fear with the knowledge that God walks with you when your intentions serve Him. Fear is a selfish response, of­ten concerning loss of something which you think you hold dear.

There is only one concern you each must acknowledge in which the symptom of some Fear may serve you. And even the label Fear does not quite accurately describe this concern. What might that be? "Losing" your soul to the adversary and becom­ing a prisoner of his Hell on Earth, in which the absence of God, will be prevalent. The eventual absence of God upon your place is a probability. Healthy concern because of understanding the consequences is appropriate here.

For must of you of God's children, there is not this problem for your hearts are pure although your actions may sometimes be somewhat less than pure. Remember we've spoken many times about how YOU push God out. He never leaves you! Most of you have already experienced moments or even lifetimes in Hell with the absence of God's knowing presence within you. Sim­ply because you did not know to accept your inner power. And ALL of you have experienced, at one time or another, His res­cue or Hand of Light pulling you from the darkness, when you asked for help. Eventually, and already for many of you, the status of your soul is not even a concern for your only choice can be God of Light. Your lifeline is always God and that is ALL you need to be like unto Him and you will be shown the path out of your self-imposed limitations.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THIS TALK ABOUT DETACHMENT?

Most of the talk is simply more "New Age" nonsense. When mine scribe, Druthea, first heard about it over a year past, she thought like so many of you ones, "Oh, that sounds good." She thought about it. What does it mean? She understood physical detachment, in other words from material "things". But how do you accomplish what is described as "emotional" detachment? Well it took some time for the process of understanding to come to fruition. She finally asked, "WHY would I need to achieve total detachment from emotions and feelings? What would be left?" Good question, chela. The key here is SELECTIVE RE­LEASE. And I am using the word release in the place of de­tachment simply because of the mis-use of the term and the con­fusion surrounding it. Firstly I see revelation in Druthea upon looking up the word, so let us share the definition herein:

Detachment: 1. The act of detaching or the stale of being de­tached (Separated, disconnected). 2. Lack of interest in sur­roundings or worldly affairs. 3. Absence of prejudice or partiality.

Now please, each of you THINK about this carefully. Are you trying to achieve separateness or unity? Disconnection or Oneness? Can you change the world without interest in it? Would you not want to feel care and concern for your surroundings and the rate of your brethren around the globe? Is it possible to be God-human with His soul-life and not FEEL ANYTHING CALLED EMOTIONS? Love is an emotion, a feeling and an expression. What actions constitute love? Absence of prejudice (pre-judgment) sounds good, but what about lack of partiality? Are you not partial toward God? Or is it the adversary? Does this meaning sound Godly or Satanic in presentation? It depends on how it is presented.

SELECTIVE RELEASE (A.K.A. DETACHMENT)

How about simply releasing or becoming separate from evil? Detachment from fear, resentment, envy, hatred, insecurity. In other words releasing the limiting emotions of the adversary and concentrating your mind on awakening the co-creative emotion of brotherly love. And to be effective in your service here, you must have a high degree of compassion for the human condition upon your place.

Now I will give another example of appropriate, detachment. When you are sharing The Word, it is none of your business, if ones refuse to hear or discount you because of it. That is their choice and privilege and NOT your responsibility.

An example of inappropriate attachment would be to material ego status and especially attachment to your OPINIONS about how things are or should be, etc. Always leave yourself room to change your mind from opinion to KNOWING, especially when you are inspired by GOD within to do so. That means being willing to admit to self, or another If appropriate, that you were wrong and you now recognize the "right" or balanced way.

Other areas of inappropriate attachment are attachment to the altered ego's need to dominate and manipulate to achieve ITS needs or desires. Many of you parents are faced with these sorts of challenges as well as ones in the average workplace or anyplace where people gather and interact with one another to achieve similar/same goals. Whether it be friendship and/or getting out The Word.

Look at it this way. You have the choice to offer a positive constructive INFLUENCE or a negative destructive INFLUENCE. EVERY choice, action and decision you make is either increasing or DE-creasing brotherly love and goodwill. It is up to each of you to learn the difference. Most of your processes of life revolve about learning the difference between behavior and actions which bring balance and Godly influence, and be­havior and actions which feed the adversary's hunger for de­structive manipulation, domination and control of your being and this physical planet.

It is easy to TRUST the process of life when you walk KNOWINGLY in balance in communion with God every moment. How many of you have achieved this so far? VERY, VERY few of you. This is the challenge, precious chelas. MANY, MANY obstacles of testing which are designed to push you off the balanced tightrope of your journey are offered. In time you accept fewer and fewer of the distractions for you learn to recognize them and walk over them or through them because YOU KNOW you have the power and the choice to do it. Meanwhile be gentle on yourselves. For even the most accomplished Mas­ters of knowledge and communion made errors in discernment from time to time, and suffered the consequences thereof, in­cluding mineself.

I could not serve you now effectively in this capacity had I not experienced many times upon the physical planes as you each have and are doing. The rewards of finally recognizing YOUR power to influence positive constructive change are enormous.

WHY DO I SOMETIMES FEEL INEFFECTIVE AND HELPLESS?

This question Druthea asks and so do many of you. In your case, precious, you are measuring results according to what ap­pears on the surface. And your efforts will seem quite futile and hopeless when you expect quick and obvious results which you think you can measure by this letter or that comment on the work. This again is not your responsibility, precious. For you are not able to measure the change WITHIN a person's soul consciousness whom you've touched.

For example, if your sister appears to hear and see no evil, es­pecially when you bring it to her attention, that is YOUR per­ception. Because she chooses not to respond to you does not mean that inside her mind and heart are not torn or moved, even if she simply thinks you're nuts. And perhaps she prays for YOUR soul, thinking it is you who is misguided.

God monitors the heart in caring love extended. Yours in shar­ing Truth and hers in wanting to keep peace and harmony in the few hours you had to share. Your frustration comes in trying to monitor the "silence" and your need to be heard and understood by her. Release that need, for it is your insecurity, as the Commander correctly told you, which moves you to seek accep­tance from her. Allow her her process to unfold, for she ac­cepts you exactly how you are. Your ideas are quite another thing. With the bond of love between you, know she will reach out to you when she is moved to do so, Be prepared and allow her her own time. That is a true gift of love. Do you under­stand? Yes, I hear your comprehension. And I trust that all of you in similar circumstances will ponder these lessons well for they apply to ALL who "happen" upon this transmission.

Let us please take a break. Thank you, Druthea, for sitting with me. I know you will write longer, but you are not as strong as you think in your body yet. You need healing time and you have allowed your worry and fretting time to encroach not only upon our time together but also your own healing. This is not to chastise, but simply to make you aware of what you do to self, precious.

I love you as a very part of my own being and I, cherish you and treasure this time we have. You will learn that there is very little of perceived duties worth worry and forfeit of our time, to write. There are MANY ones beyond your perception who find sustenance and peace within from this work, including you, my little dove. The inadequacy will pass, for it is part of the illu­sion of altered ego and has no substance in the Light of GOD and our work together. Be at peace. You serve well. There is always room for improvement and your desire takes you there.

I AM Sananda, One with God. Walk together in Peace and Love and KNOW that GOD walks with you. Salu.