CHAPTER 3
REC #1 JESUS SANANDA
FRIDAY, JUNE 7, 1991 9:04 A.M. YEAR 4, DAY 295
FRIDAY, JUNE 7, 1991

Mitakuye oyasin. For all my relations, I speak. I speak for all that came be­fore and who will come after for all I have is NOW. If we come NOW. If we come not unto brotherhood NOW, we have nothing. I am the one you call Jesus, nut that is not my label--our Father calls Me Sananda and it is of presence again upon the spaces of His magnificent Creation. What means the label? One WITH God, Qne OF God; ONE WITH ALL—THE WORD, THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT.

Therefore, I am, too, the "Son of Man", the Wayshower, the Truthbringer- -I AM!

Gabriel gave unto you an image of Me to which you could relate in your own imaginings but it is only ONE image from 2000 years ago and that image bears little recognition if you walk among My other Creations; My other relations. God would not and does not come among His people except in images that are understood and recognized as selves. Would a father terrify his child? Today, I weep, for man (father) of earth place most surely would do so and does so. Our Father who gave us LIFE would not. He comes as the breeze across our brow--the seas upon the shore, the voice of the songbird, the limp of a crippled sparrow, ah yes, how many times have you turned from God? How many of you will miss our journey among you now? God has kept every promise unto the greatest of His Creations, and He sends His Hosts again, to bring you home and they come before that you might have Truth and find the way back within the safe fold.

Ye have raped of thine Mother, and incested thine own creations and you have fallen into the dark places set forth by the adversary. Just today the churches who call themselves of God--do "vote-in" the very lies of the adversary within their doctrines to further destroy you as a people. You break all the laws and call it "good".

MARK OF THE BEAST

You are told that you already bear the markings of the Beast and it is under­stood not. Let us suppose that a man steals your cow and puts his mark upon that cow--does it make the cow less the property of the original owner? Nay, and the original owner shall find out which cows have been shackled and stolen and he will go forth and reclaim of them. So be it, for a shepherd knows his sheep. I have come again to sort our Father's lambs and I recognize no brand of the adversary and when I call our Father's sheep, they shall know and hear and all else will pass away as the chaff in the fields of ripe grain. In which pasture will I find YOU? The blessings shall flow as the river of LIFE upon my lambs--every moment of thine service shall be repaid in abundance a hun­dredfold and ye are blessed among Man. If ye have heard your call ye are in­deed blest--and for some, the call is all that needs be heard for none are knowing of their full commitment and task contract. Allow unfold and a you stay within the Light, , so will your purpose come unto your KNOWING. All things and beings of God shall be into the presence o that which is higher and radiant and you shall not longer desire nor have need of that which is manifested in the physical limitations. It may well be, and ye know not, that the play is finished and you are already within the transition.
You have no way in which to know whether or not it is the will of God what the adversary and his gleanings will be in this final separation onto and within the very nest in which he has wrought his evil games. Perhaps you continue to limit your perceptions of that which IS and you need only reminding of the presence and KNOWING. You see, Man can gain, through his human desires, things which he thinks will brim him wholeness, power, wealth, etc., but what he really wants is the knowing of his own power above all else and that only in the fulfillment of one with God. So man human has a very long way to journey from out the pits. You must have your roadmap back to the stars from whence you came. And you need your wings with which to find the path passable--i. e., you need US, brothers. Moreover, WE need YOU in order to fulfill our own mission for we have come for you and we will not ,return unto our Father without His flock.. So be it.
NO "LONG AGO" NOR "FAR AWAY"
There is no such thing as "long ago" nor "far away" and that which was the message 2000 years ago is that which is brought today. Then as now, I told you to believe in the "good" tidings and have faith (pistil). Faith is indispens­able for admission to the Kingdom of Heaven . It is the prerequisite of salvation and it is itself salvation--for a man will-become that-which he visions and believes and in which his faith resides.
Only to faith is the coming of the Kingdom manifested. By the clouds men know that rain is coming, by the leaves of the tree they know that summer is nigh at hand; but they see not the signs of the coming Kingdom for it has been deliberately obscured by your adversary who would test you and pull you away into his dark passages that you might experience all. But it is the time for re­turning from those dark choices and again bring your travels of the path of Light that you do not simply become one with the evil itself.
When I say that you see not the signs of the coming Kingdom, that is to say: they do not "believe". The true sign is Myself, My teachings and My Word. Only faith can see Me. Therefore: Blessed is he, who never shall not be of­fended in me.

Faith is the life of those who have already glimpsed the Kingdom of Heaven . On this faith the most unbelievable gifts are bestowed and all things are possible to him that believes. Whosoever shall say unto a mountain to be removed and cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he says shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he says. The method by which the mountain is moved is the only object in point. If you be­lieve strongly enough in the desire to move the mountain--you will move it--by bucket, by trucks or by any method necessary. It will, however, be neither mystical nor co--it will be within the laws of Nature/Creation that it will be moved. What will SEEM to be makes no difference whatsoever.
I healed the sick as I walked about the places of those ancient lands? Did I? No--through the faith of the bearer of spirit and faith--did the God within heal of self. I only knew the strength and unlimited ability of God within myself and within those-believing ones. I said then and I say now, your faith makes you whole.. I only gave the suggestion in the name of our Father/Creator that has again and again been used all over the world to banish or in what appears to be "abnormal" phenomena. Only one who "believes" can experience such ef­fects which are now familiar to your medical and psychological experience. But I did more than perform miracles by suggestion, dear ones. I forgave sins. I allowed the person in punishment of self to relieve his heart of the burden of punishment placed upon self and expressed in the deviation from perfection.

When it is stated that "your sins are forgiven you", it is then the "faith" of the forgiven who releases the burden through faith. The cure is present in order that men, seeing this power, may be convinced of God's power to forgive errors and thus, so can Man forgives self. This is why you must ask in truth and desire and it shall be given you,- ; seek, and you shall be led into the finding; knock and the way will be opened unto you.
But Man should accept all this as a gift, knowing that he has not somehow "deserved" it for when you shall have done all those things which are com­manded you, you must recognize that you have only done that which was your duty.
Man cannot keep accounts with God. God makes the sun to shine on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. Human thought cannot undermine faith by figuring out what "ought" to happen. With God all things are possible. Whatever happens, God knows "why", and the believer finds no grievance against God in an unexpected catastrophe or in events that he simply cannot understand at the moment.
This faith is expressed in the words "Our Father". Three phrases are crucial: "Thy Kingdom come"--in the Kingdom you shall be one with God's will, the world will be ended and with it all affliction. "Give us this our daily bread"--freedom from worldly cares is possible only through the faith that builds on God. This does not say "drop-out and you will receive what you "want". This indicates that you will work diligently and through your works shall you have that which is required unto you. "Forgive us our trespasses; and lead us not into temptation"- -freedom from errors in the way to the Kingdom of Heaven , and Freedom from error can be given only by God. It is a voicing-of the total desire to not make wrong choices during your journey unto home and Source.
For the believer, God is all in all. The finite and transient world is only a sign. But God makes the lilies grow for it is the natural way of Creation that it be so, no sparrow falls to the ground except by His knowing, the hairs of a man's head are numbered for the Creator is present within and pays quite a bit more atten­tion to the housing of Man than does the housed. Though sign and reality are interwoven, the metaphoric character of all worldly existence implies a radical separation between the world and the Kingdom of Heaven . The world passes away; the Kingdom abides forever.
Faith is a word for the Biblical relation to God. It means absolute trust in the will of God—that does NOT mean in a church house wherein Man goes to be told a thing or another. It means "absolute" trust in the will of God. "Thy will be done" is an expression of this trust. Faith is certainly concerning God, concerning Man's bond with Him, concerning God's love which is the foundation of prayer. Faith is the salt that seasons, a Man's whole being. But it cannot be taken for granted, induced by design. It does not understand itself. It is weak and fragile. Effort can only denature it. It is a gift, not a possession. "Lord, I believe; help me in my unbelief"--you must ask for the continuing connection.
I taught faith--not knowledge as such. For it is only through the belief and desire that KNOWLEDGE is attained The meaning remains veiled for the unbeliever,- to the believer only' it is revealed, yet even then not in clear statements-- but rather, it comes in parables and paradoxes so that the being can be given into "seeing" and recognize the "knowingness" . You question still, regarding parables and I can only say that unto you it is given to know the mystery of the Kingdom of God ; but unto them that are without, all things are done in para­bles--for it is only the way it IS.
I have no concern for "logical" consistency for it is for Man to REASON AND PONDER THAT WHICH IS GIVEN. He must come into the understanding for that is the purpose of the journey through the experience Alf manifested places of "choice" and "free will". You that are not with me are against me for the middle-of the road is not a place; it is but a perception. At what exact point does the path become the right side vs. the left side? But as long as you remain on the left side and do not cross the mid-point--you are on the left side! There­fore, you that are not against me are on our part. Further, I tell you to "Resist not evil" and then again on the other: I bring not peace but a sword. Where everything is a "sign", there are no contradictions. I do not represent a system of thought--but rather, a message in "signs". This is so that the least among you and all your relations which are of Nature and Creation can KNOW by the signs--even the fig tree has signs to cause it to leaf. No chantings nor ravings shall induce it to leaf before the signs are proper.

WHAT OF THE LIFE OF. THE ONE CALLED ESU (JESUS)?

I grew up, in that experience, in Nazareth in Galilee with my mother whom you label Mary, four brothers, and several sisters. I learned a trade so that I could sustain myself. I was taught according to the instructions as accepted as doc­trine of the day. As I grew to manhood, I learned of John the Baptist, the an­chorite of the Jordan country, who proclaimed the coming of the Kingdom and God's last judgment, and preached repentance, baptism, and the remission of sins. I have spent time with My brothers in the higher reaches of the Cosmos so that I would know of that which I was to serve in purpose. I came into knowledge of My commission unto my Earth brothers for I, too, came forth within the veil that no thing would be "special" for my experience. It would be the time of my own testing within the journey of Christed guidance and fulfillment. I came with no "special anything" so that I could experience and. grow as all Man grows and experiences that his ultimate choices shall be in goodness that he might return unto the Creator in Truth and oneness I was given into the human emotions for that was my experience-- human. I was not finished with my lessons which would return me into the perfection of Sananda­-ONE AS GOD. I claimed not that title; Man thrust upon me the erroneous label for I was tested as are all men before their journey is ended.
I asked baptism by John that I might openly show my faith and accept my mis­sion. I spent time in the desert for I had faith and need to prove my faith that God would care for me and lend of my. needs. I went alone and asked no Man a thing. You see it is not meant that Man should simply go forth and require that "another" tend of him--that is not what is meant when it is said that God will tend of you. I simply gave responsibility unto God and He provided that which I needed to sustain--not some hermit, nor beast, nor insect just me and God self. I simply came into the KNOWING that I was and that my power was within myself and in that Knowing I could endure and survive beyond all things thrust upon me
As I grew in the location of my birthing into the physical, 1 traveled and spoke of the things of God and balance of Nature. They, not I, referred to me as a rabbi which only meant teacher of the word. It is a "status" now but then it meant only "teacher/speaker" . I spoke in the synagogues for that are where the ones who would teach the doctrines were stationed and, frankly, I was little ac­cepted for mostly I told them what was amiss in their own teachings. This does not endear a young person to his elders who appears to come in contradiction.
I wandered from place to place in Galilee , gathered friends who could accept the word and told the people of the coming of the Kingdom. Not much differ­ent from this day--only the manner is different for it would be that in the return, the physical would not be manifest until all signs were proper. Therefore, I now give the WORD in the same manner in which I received it in those experi­ences- -from higher source but presented by human methods. Dharma, for in­stance, claims not to BE me, or Aton, or Hatonn, or Germain--she claims to be that which she is--a human who translates and scribes signals onto paper or by audial output. She is one of many for the WORD must now be given unto the four corners and farthest reaches of the globe for it is time of the concluding portion of the cycle--the something spiral ever into infinity. Dharma identifies "with" me--not "AS" me.
I efforted then, as now, that you must live in the world as you perceive to be, but you must remain "indifferent" to those "things" of your perception. I shared the ethos of love and devotion to God's' will. Unfortunately I became known as a performer of miracles--mostly called a magician and mystic, who healed the sick, drove out devils, and awakened the dead. How sad that man would pick the mystical nonsense and miss the very point of my journey.
I can assure you that my career as a preacher lasted only a few months. Strange that only the last few days, comprising what you refer to as the "Passion", are described by the historians and then they even botched the truth of that experi­ence. They handled the story of the main episodes as being the journey to Jerusalem, the cleaning of the Temple (which only got me crucified--just as any rebellion against the politicians gets you today), the Last Supper or Gathering of my friends, the agony in a garden, the betrayal and arrest (which was one of the most enduring lies of all), the hearings, the judgment of the Sanhedrin, the deci­sion of Pontius Pilate, the crucifixion and burial which is not given in any man­ner of truth unto this day.
The question must arise: Why did I go to Jerusalem ? Well, quite a group, or following, had attached themselves to me--for it was not as easy to go about as in your day. Further, ones always believe, somehow, that TRUTH simply flows by contact and/or osmosis. I was considered no more than a "hippy" in your day. But TRUTH will "out" and that which I brought was TRUTH and Man hungered and thirsted after TRUTH and reason, and wisdom touched Man for the lies were obvious which flowed forth from the mouths of the self-pro­claimed teachers of doctrine. Any time I showed up anywhere it was a mass of confusion for ones longed to hear Truth and wanted to follow that which repre­sented the projection of Truth. It was my message--not my presence. It was, however, also that same message which the elite would make all effort to stop. You see, chelas, you want to hold to dreams and fantasy--but it is no different TODAY!
Why do we basically keep Dharma an unknown entity? Because it MUST BE ON THE WORD AND TRUTH OF LIFE, GOD AND CREATION THAT YOU BASE YOUR EXISTENCE--NOT ON A LITTLE GRANDMOTHER WHO WRITES. IT MUST BE ON THE WORD OF TRUTH! You must be given not into the following nor the worshiping of any man. You are not to be given into the "worshiping" of any spiritual being beyond Man, including God--HE DEMANDS NOT WORSHIP--HE DEMANDS RESPECT AND ABIDING LAW FROM MAN--REVERENCE!
One must deal with that which IS and that which will come and hindsight is often perfection but you cannot ever change an iota of That which WAS. Therefore, I went into Jerusalem and it matters not as to why--at this telling. The authorities, however, were reminded of the disorders that had been created by other agitators and quelled by force. I gave no sign of any desire for politi­cal power--but I could not control those antagonists and betrayers who would cling to the group--just as you can't today. My enemies were far more in num­ber than were my friends. It turned out that even those I felt to be my closest friends would turn away when the going would get rough. When the going got rough--the rough got going--as fast as they could paddle in the other direction. Stop the nonsense given forth about the experience-- for I was human and I was in torment and I was terrified--yes, terrified. It was the hardest testing of my own belief (faith) in my own being and that of my Creator/Father.
It has been presented that I went forth into Jerusalem to provoke a decision of some sort. Well, I suppose that could be construed as such for my purpose was to provoke Man to think in terms of gaining Knowledge about his connections.
Moreover, just as with you eager speakers who now know that which is Truth--you feel a shortage of "time" to tell Man that which is correct vs. that which is totally erroneous. Remember, it was the time of the great feast of the Passover in Jerusalem (Easter holiday), the center of Judean life, and it would be appro­priate to reach as many souls as possible. I had no television or radio--even controlled media--as you have this day. Further, I knew that imminent was the ending of the cycle--but like you--I was not given in total understanding that "imminent" means one thing on a place with perceived "time" and "space" lim­itations and quite another to the "timeless" and "spaceless" experience. Like you, I thought our time was up, over, capoot! I was disappointed that the world was taking so long to end, quite frankly. Just as some of you do, this day--"Oh, my, well the Earth is still here this morning--what a disappointment! "
But worse, chelas, I was misinformed about the TRUTH for I was also taught by the indoctrinated according to their own ego needs for power. I identified myself with the servant of God in Deutero-Isiah and had come to absolutely be­lieve that God demanded my martyrdom at the hand of the worldly powers and that with this event I would usher in the Kingdom of Heaven . Don't ever be smug in your assumptions of self power, chelas, fat you will err greatly. God will allow you to martyr yourself EVERY time. It is NOT His desire; but your own.

I fully expected that the Kingdom would dawn at the last moment and, frankly, I was disillusioned and I did cry out in despair and asked God why He had for­saken me. How many of you martyr yourselves in your self-righteous assump­tion that you speak for, and/or are THE God. Would I do it differently this day? Absolutely-- and here I am doing it very differently THIS DAY. I too, had to learn and finish my own lessons that I might be worthy in perfection of wisdom to be ONE with Creator.
Man can "suppose" this or that all he wishes-the point is that until. you come into the wisdom of KNOWING, you will make decisions and choices which are based on assumption as presented unto you-and not on actual fact of KNOWING.

Why would Father allow this? Because God will always "allow" and it would
be my testing as to whether or not I would experience in fullness or take the
easy way out my plight--which, by the way, I had gotten into quite nicely by
own actions. I was no lesser nor any greater than is any one of you. I was
an in flesh and I was given into despair and terror, pain and futility and Let,
the experience is blessed beyond all things for I was given into the growing and
learning which could brim me into the absolute and totality of KNOWING
Now we walk a seemingly different journey; but it is the same. I have grown
and can see in ALLNESS and become one with that which Creates and, still, I work only within the very laws of Creation which serve you. The balance within Creation is beyond the tampering of various little experiences and experi­encing fragments of the whole.


I was not thoughtless about that which I did nor about that which came upon me--I knew what I was doing even if it was a nasty bit of unwise conjecture for the being at hand. I did not go blindly to some doom, beloved ones. I knew exactly that which I would do and moreover, I was being given to see beyond and into the consequences as would project from my actions. It was a FREE WILL CHOICE WHICH I MADE.

I spoke directly to my friends (disciples) and I find the words of wisdom as good today as in that moment: "I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves; be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." It stood them well then and it will stand you well NOW..

I went further and I repeat it to you now for the wisdom is no less: Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. Beware, brothers, of the pigs in the pen and especially those who get into thine own pen. In other words, know when to keep your mouth shut and when you can be heard-- for God requires no martyrs-then now, so you become a martyr--know that you do it for self and not for God.

In my wanderings in Galilee, I kept as hidden as possible when it was likely that my greatest enemy would seek and destroy me--for now, as then, the prophets of God are targeted for destruction. Herod was no afferent from that which you call President, Adviser to the President and/or King. You must act always in wisdom for foolishness costs not just self but your brother as well. The point is to bring forth the WORD, not make a holy martyr of self in your ego-trip to be the important cog in the overall wheel. You see, I had a lot to learn in these interim two thousand years in your counting of days. You must be as wise as the serpent and as harmless as the dove.

This is sufficient unto our needs for this writing. May you be given into under­standing and sharing of TRUTH for that is the mission we have accepted. Saalome.

I AM

CHAPTER 4
REC #3 JESUS SANANDA
SATURDAY, JUNE 8, 1991 12:20 P.M. YEAR 4, DAY 296
A ROSE BY ANY NAME
Stop it--I weary of your picking and poking over things which are absurd. If your name is George Hornblower and it is changed by someone named Paul, does it mean you are no longer George Hornblower? Saul of Tarsus labeled my being Jesus AFTER I was no longer in the " Holy Land ". Moreover, the one Paul, who thought better to call himself that than remain with Saul (of Tarsus ), probably because he feared the tar and feathers, did-in the Christian "movement". With friends like "Paul the Apostle" I certainly needed no ene­mies. If you don't believe me, especially you women who seek equal rights, read the edicts he handed down in My name. Paul was no friend of mine; he was one of your first REAL "mattoids". Esu here to continue our reconstruc­tion of Truth.

UNTO CAESAR
I certainly expect you to be as careful this day as I efforted to be in those days long ago. There were those who tried to compromise me with the Romans or the Judaists by asking what 1 thought about the payment of tribute. I replied, pointing to the effigy on a coin, if I had one, and told them to render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's. Since the au­thorities did not dare to arrest me by day, when I was always surrounded by the multitude, they sought me by night and then I hid, always in a different place. I did not know exactly that which I would do in case of arrest or whether or not I would resist should they do so--most surely my friends (disciples) were not cer­tain. I did tell them to get swords but I had little intention of resisting. One of my people did smite a servant of the high priest and severed his ear--I did not reprove him for it was in defense of self as by their attack upon me, they also attacked those with me. I did bid him hold his peace for the entire episode was getting out of hand and a riot was about to get under way in which all of my people would have been slain.

I never hid any of my actions in Jerusalem —all was perfectly open. The en­trance into the city was prepared and I purified the Temple on the strength of the position I held in the Judean community. To the Sanhedrin I was a rebel against the Judaist theocracy and a blasphemer. The Romans suspected me of political insurrection. I avoided any reference or statement of what I took my-self to be. Actually, I made no statement until the very end. A high priest asked me if I were the Christ, to which I replied: "I am". To Pilote's question: "Art thou the King of the Judeans?" I only responded: "You say!" Then on the cross they established a bunch of garbage as to my being.

So I ask you of the readers of Truth: If I was not an active political leader; if I desired no social revolution; if I did not seek a martyr's death as proof of my message; if I led the life of a believer, awaiting God's action but making no attempt to force God's hand if I was far from any desire for self aggrandizement, and my whole life was an act of obedience to God's will, my conduct becomes somewhat hard to understand, apparently. It seems I did provoke violence against myself when I cleansed the Temple , for which I sorely suffered the con­sequences of that act. In all this there must be accepted an unmistakable mili­tancy against a "system" of unGodly behavior which was present in other mani­festations of my personality as well. I was serving in a human form and living in a human experience--I WAS HUMAN.

My teaching was not unclear in any manner whatsoever as is now laid forth unto you--the lack of clarity comes from the deliberate and ignorant repeating of that which I supposedly did and said. It is said there was a discrepancy between what I was, saw, and strove for, and what others understood. No--people sim­ply did not want to heed nor hear--and it is no different today. The people fol­lowed eagerly for in their way they seemed to need me. I could not prevent them from attaching themselves to me and raising me more and more above my­self. But the development of my picture of myself seems to lack clarity--but not through anything I did or said. The contradictions in my utterances seem to show that there was such a development and that perhaps it was never com­pleted in the minds of the receivers. So what was it I said?

Well, I said such things as "I am come...", "But I say unto you..." is taken to pronounce an awareness of my vocation. I made it quite clear that I believed myself to be extraordinary by likening myself to light and fire: "I am come to send fire on the earth." I knew my mission for I had been carefully taught in the higher universal realms as to my purpose. There was simply no way in which to allow for understanding for there was nothing to which the ones of that day could relate. They could have no concept of spacecraft even though such was frequently present in relationship to my own where-about. You see, man cannot accept that which he understands not nor has relative comparison IQ that which is known.

When among those who had long known me I also encountered an indifference or contempt that offended my sense of my own being as much as deploring the lack of respect for their own beingness. Since I was accepted in other locations, I said that "No prophet is accepted in his own country." And brothers, if you think it differs this day--you had better ask some valid prophets. I don't mean the cute little games players--I speak of the ones who bring Truth unto your world. I could not "heal" among my own people--for they had no faith in me or in the God they claimed. They had less faith in themselves and, yes, it sur­prised me for I was not prepared for such rejection--just as the bringers of Truth are not prepared for that which is thrust upon them this day. My entire makeup within Creation could not accept the absolute inability of Man to see into the beyond and into the goodness and perfection of God Creator and yet see the evil as it prevailed about him and have no incentive to do a thing about it save join with it. Please don't effort to tell me that it differs this day.

I was sent forth to king the WORD and I set about to do exactly that. I re­garded myself as a prophet and I believe that is the way I am accepted even by those who would renounce myself as anything other than that. I did recognize myself as the "Messiah" but not THE ULTIMATE MESSIAH. I was come as a Messenger of Truth (Messiah). Even that picture was molded by the prevalent conceptions of prophesy; the worldly and divine "king" somehow come out from the house of David who would be around in the "last days"; the angel who would appear as the "Son of Man" in Daniel's prophecy of the end of the world; the servant of God, the suffering, dying, rising Saviour of Deutero-Isiah. It is as with now--Man will conjure that which he wishes to note and/or pronounce and fact has little if anything to do with the picture projected. All these conceptions were echoed over and over in sayings pronounced stated by me--and a great many of them are quite accurate as far as they go. One correct statement was "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man hath not where to lay his head." I was a threat to those of evil intent and it is not surprising that suspicions could arise that I aspired to the crown or something such, and certainly my accusers conjured such conjecture.

Did I regard myself as the Christ? How about the Messiah? I called myself Esu and Emmanuel. I commanded that no one speak of me as the Messiah and forbade those possessed to address me the son of David. I charged y friends (disciples) to tell no man that I was the Christ. Further, you ones relate even that as "Jesus" the Christ. No, the term Jesus was not even in considera­tion relative to myself until long after my departure, I did blatantly ask them who they would say I am? Good old Simon Peter responded--for he always liked puzzles, "Thou are the Christ, the Son of the living God." I answered then as now: "Blessed thou art, Simon Bar-jona, for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven." Now what actually did such a statement mean? Could the entire statement be misconstrued and out of context? It would seem to me that the theological tone seems to brand it in­authentic. For example: "All Things are delivered unto me of my Father, and no man knoweth the Son, but the Father; neither knoweth any man the Father, save the Son, and he to whomsoever the Son will reveal him." and "Why callest thou me good? There is none good but one, that is God." Good, beloved ones, meant "perfection". It mattered not whether I be a Christ or a heathen--I cer­tainly knew the language even if the note-keepers did not.

Taken all together, the words of which I supposedly am attributed must supply much less than unequivocal answers. Even the projections of my enemies could not attribute to me such dogmatic formulations and apparently they could come to no definite conclusion about the nature of my person. I find that it is quite interesting to note that to this day there is no conclusion regarding my being. The question itself seems to be a fallacy resulting from dogmatic bias.

Why do you believe things which are so entirely fabricated? Let us look at that which supposedly occurred in "the garden". Dear ones, the story as told could not have been an eyewitness account for who could attest and who could have observed my own vacillation, my own struggle with my own weakness? I be­lieve any crippled lawyer would be able to recognize that as speculation or con­jecture. But, rather, it was a fiction calculated to confirm to the fulfillment of God's will as revealed in the Old Testament.

What about my "last" words? "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Are they not interpreted according to the same method? All of you miss some­thing most important: afterwards, it is explained, the Christians, drawing on the Old Testament, came to believe that I had despaired and cried out in lamentation but had found consolation in prayer. Thus they arranged it so that my last words are not the cry of a despairing man but the beginning of the nice Twenty-second Psalm, and the man who prays in these words is not a rebel against God, but one who lives and dies at peace with God. Well, pre­cious ones ;it matters not a whit who I, was—it matters greatly WHO I AM

It certainly seems more than a species can do to tear yourselves away from the beliefs poured forth upon you in order to continue control over you. I guess it takes some very compelling reasons to make you abandon the belief that there is a reality at the base of these moving episodes and speeches. I was a Man and I tried to always reveal myself in the purity of my soul and in my struggle with unexpected realities. The struggle culminated in no finished awareness nor dogma for that matter. In the face of terrors, in the face of my mounting disap­pointment, all that was left me was my prayer--"Thy will be done." WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE AND SAID? THAT ALONE BECOMES FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT WHICH I DID AND/OR SAID. FOR THAT WAS MY PATH--WHAT MIGHT YOURS BE?